Two days ago, my family went to Tagaytay to attend the wedding of a distant relative whom I had never seen before. I didn’t really want to go, for I felt that we were gate crashing a party as my father had not seen his relatives from Bicol in 4 decades. It would have made more sense if we had set a reunion first before we started attending their family occasions. However, I decided to accede to my father’s invitation as I had to make up for the times that I missed family activities as they coincided with church events. Besides, it was a chance for me to bond with my family at no expense.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was my first time to attend a Catholic wedding so my expectations weren’t really high. Well, I didn’t really pay much attention to the ceremony as I felt it took much longer than necessary. So while the wedding was going on, I just stayed outside the church and took some pictures with my sister and her boyfriend. It also allowed us to enjoy the cool Tagaytay air. A much better alternative to the prospect of boring ourselves in a mass we were not supposed to be a part of.
The reception was even better. It was held at Casablanca, a private resort that provided a beautiful view of Taal. It would have been the perfect venue had the sudden gusts of wind not broken some glasses and thrown napkins over the cliff. Other than that, everything in the reception showed that the newlyweds were well off and that they had prepared well for their special day. Sumptuous food from Josiah’s Catering, an exciting program from the wedding planner, talented wedding singers, in a way it helped me see clearly what my wedding reception should be like.
But everything paled in comparison to the newlyweds. I assume that they’re already in their 30s, older than the usual marrying age. They seemed to have been together for a long time before they decided to get married, but I don’t think I can see any other couple more in love than they are. Even the way their own families treated one another was an indication that they approve so much of the marriage.
What I witnessed on that day became memorable because it’s not that often nowadays that we see people entering married life for the right reasons. Some do so just because the girl got pregnant, others do it because they are forced into doing it. Instead of serving as a way into a blissful life, marriages are now becoming a way out of something else.
I am not writing this to criticize those who got married early, for age is not really a measure of how ready someone is for married life. But I lament the fact that many are not nearly ready for that life when they decide to say their “I do’s”, for instead of an exciting tomorrow starting their own family, couples are faced with a turbulent and unstable future just because they were not prepared.
Several times I have been asked the question, “Why are you not yet married?”. I am already 25 years old, and not a few of my friends and classmates already have their own families. It’s not really that I don’t want to commit myself to marriage. In fact, I often dream of that day when I start spending the rest of my days with someone else. But there are things that I have to make sure of before I even plan for my life as a husband and a father.
First, I have to be emotionally prepared, in the sense that I love the woman I’m marrying so much that I can only see my tomorrows with her. No doubts, no “what ifs”. I want to be fully certain that she is the one I’m destined to spend forever with. I also have to be ready to commit myself not only to her but to the marriage itself, for getting married would take a lot of adjustments, from my way of thinking to the activities that I do. Lastly, I don’t want to enter into marriage when I can’t even provide for my own needs. I owe it to my wife and the family that we will be starting. I should be financially capable to secure them a comfortable life.
The way things are going, I really couldn’t see myself getting married soon. But a lot of things can change in so little time. Who knows? Well, I’m not in too much a hurry, though. I’m giving myself three years. But if I could get myself ready sooner, and of course, assuming that I have already met the girl I’m bound to marry, why not? I might be sending out invitations as early as next year. Haha!
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was my first time to attend a Catholic wedding so my expectations weren’t really high. Well, I didn’t really pay much attention to the ceremony as I felt it took much longer than necessary. So while the wedding was going on, I just stayed outside the church and took some pictures with my sister and her boyfriend. It also allowed us to enjoy the cool Tagaytay air. A much better alternative to the prospect of boring ourselves in a mass we were not supposed to be a part of.
The reception was even better. It was held at Casablanca, a private resort that provided a beautiful view of Taal. It would have been the perfect venue had the sudden gusts of wind not broken some glasses and thrown napkins over the cliff. Other than that, everything in the reception showed that the newlyweds were well off and that they had prepared well for their special day. Sumptuous food from Josiah’s Catering, an exciting program from the wedding planner, talented wedding singers, in a way it helped me see clearly what my wedding reception should be like.
But everything paled in comparison to the newlyweds. I assume that they’re already in their 30s, older than the usual marrying age. They seemed to have been together for a long time before they decided to get married, but I don’t think I can see any other couple more in love than they are. Even the way their own families treated one another was an indication that they approve so much of the marriage.
What I witnessed on that day became memorable because it’s not that often nowadays that we see people entering married life for the right reasons. Some do so just because the girl got pregnant, others do it because they are forced into doing it. Instead of serving as a way into a blissful life, marriages are now becoming a way out of something else.
I am not writing this to criticize those who got married early, for age is not really a measure of how ready someone is for married life. But I lament the fact that many are not nearly ready for that life when they decide to say their “I do’s”, for instead of an exciting tomorrow starting their own family, couples are faced with a turbulent and unstable future just because they were not prepared.
Several times I have been asked the question, “Why are you not yet married?”. I am already 25 years old, and not a few of my friends and classmates already have their own families. It’s not really that I don’t want to commit myself to marriage. In fact, I often dream of that day when I start spending the rest of my days with someone else. But there are things that I have to make sure of before I even plan for my life as a husband and a father.
First, I have to be emotionally prepared, in the sense that I love the woman I’m marrying so much that I can only see my tomorrows with her. No doubts, no “what ifs”. I want to be fully certain that she is the one I’m destined to spend forever with. I also have to be ready to commit myself not only to her but to the marriage itself, for getting married would take a lot of adjustments, from my way of thinking to the activities that I do. Lastly, I don’t want to enter into marriage when I can’t even provide for my own needs. I owe it to my wife and the family that we will be starting. I should be financially capable to secure them a comfortable life.
The way things are going, I really couldn’t see myself getting married soon. But a lot of things can change in so little time. Who knows? Well, I’m not in too much a hurry, though. I’m giving myself three years. But if I could get myself ready sooner, and of course, assuming that I have already met the girl I’m bound to marry, why not? I might be sending out invitations as early as next year. Haha!
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